Foreign body retrieval
By <name>/u/justpracticing</name><uri>https://old.reddit.com/user/justpracticing</uri>
Alternate title: things I've had to remove from vaginas I get consulted by the hospitalist on a young woman admitted for something that hospitalists take care of because her CT shows a foreign body in her vagina. I go talk to her, she has not idea what it could be, so it's time to investigate. Digital vaginal exam reveals a soft foreign body, I remove it and inspect it (prior to triple bagging it in biohazard bags) and I say "it's a..... makeup sponge?" At this point the patient goes "ooooohhhhhhhh" and I knew I was in for a good story. She tells me "so my friend, who is a prostitute, says that if you want to have sex while you're on your period, just put a makeup sponge in there and it'll block the blood without getting in the way, and I guess I just forgot to take it back out." LMP was 3.5 weeks ago, btw. We had a good laugh about it, and I advised her to make better friends. An established patient of mine calls the office in the middle of the day in desperation because she has a vibrator stuck in her vagina and she can't get it out. I of course tell her to head straight to the office and I'll take care of it. She arrives a while later, I do a pelvic exam and she has a small, hard plastic bullet vibrator (purple, for those wondering) stuck sideways in her posterior fornix, pinned by her cervix against the back wall of her vagina. I tried to grab it with ring forceps to no avail, but when the metal forceps touched it they buzzed, because the damn thing was still running! I gave up on trying to grab it with the rings and was able to grab it digitally, much to her relief. This poor woman had to drive herself a little over an hour with this STILL POWERED UP vibrator stuck in her vagina so that I could retrieve it. I cannot imagine the discomfort. I offered to give it back to her and she declined, so we pitched it. And lastly, I see a new patient in the office who was referred to me by her PCP for "CT shows tampon in vagina". She has no complaints, the CT was done 5 da
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